Thursday, August 15, 2013

The Proposal

By November, my partner and I will celebrate our 9th year together.  Unbelievable but true.   It has been 9 years of ups and downs, a relationship we never thought would last this long.  Something we just took one day at a time.

We had a 15 year age gap, something that was against us at the start.  Added to that, I was ending a previous long term relationship of 9 years when we met, while he, ironically, was just starting a new one…..with me.  Yes, I was his first.

So we took everything in stride.  Take advantage of the good stuff, ignore the hardships and just enjoy.  As the adage goes, look at it half full.
I guess the turning point was when we decided to live together; an opportunity made available that we immediately grabbed and took head-on.   Adjustments were made, budgets were considered, things shared.  It was a new adventure for us, it was fun and it was exciting.

To make it complete, we decided to make it a family.  A girl came first, his favorite, then my bundle of joy came after, a boy.  The DOGS made us happy, they made us complete.

Of course it wasn’t all that perfect, there were times we wanted to quit, when we wanted to explore and see what we have been missing outside our union.  There were hurdles and bumps along the way.  Mistakes were made, some really stupid ones, and some, that almost cost us our relationship. So there were fights that ensued, shouts that followed, tears that flowed, silent treatments given, and the worst one, a trial separation was considered.
Those were dark, depressing and lonely times. I was lost and incomplete. But when the anger subsided, I knew what I had to do, I could not give up.  So I pursued him again.  Visits, on the pretext of missing my babies, our dogs, turned to dinner dates and movie dates.  I made him feel special; I made him wanted…because he was just that, somebody special, someone I wanted. So another turning point came. Everything was forgiven and he came back.  It was a renewed venture for use, it was fun again and it was exciting.

When things returned to normal, it became that…normal.  We turned into this “middle aged” (?) couple going on with our daily lives, taking care of our babies, of each other, and going through the motion of our lives.  I knew that we needed a boost, another turning point.

So with the help and prodding of my friends, two weeks ago a proposal plan was hatched. 

I was finally going to do it, in front of my close friends.  Something I would not imagine doing in a million years. He had no idea it was coming.  There I was, down on one knee, unprepared, blabbering something, trying to be poetic and romantic at the same time. Tears slowly streaming down my cheeks, my voice cracking……there I was, proposing. 

I don’t remember what I said.  I knew I should have said more.  But this was not an ordinary proposal; it was MY proposal, I was asking my partner of 9 years, to commit to me, to our relationship, to be together for the rest of our lives.  It was THE turning point we needed, one that seals the deal.

And in between his tears, he said YES….

Thursday, August 01, 2013

The Wedding

July 26, 2013.  It was 50 years ago today, when they got married in a church in Baguio.  It was a simple affair, with a few guests.  They were a young couple who believed in going through with the ceremony but not lavishly spend for it.  There were better ways to spend their hard earned money, especially since they are just starting a new life together.

Fifty years go by; they are still a happily married couple.  Every morning as they wake up, my Dad still prepares the coffee for my Mom at breakfast while she fixes their bed they slept in, both their morning ritual.

Two weeks ago, plans were made. It was just supposed to be a weekend vacation. A break, a treat, a simple way to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. Typical of them, they agreed to a simple plan; gather everyone close, only their children and grand children for a weekend in Baguio.  Visit the church they got married to exactly 50 years ago, maybe ask for a special blessing from the parish priest, then go sight seeing for the rest of their three days stay in Baguio.  But unknown to them, there were a few emails exchanges made, followed by a few calls by their children to cousins who coincidentally lives in the same church parish. Two days before they were set to leave, everything fell into place.

Upon arriving in Baguio, everything was set into motion. There they were, back in the same church, wary, unsure, and hesitant of what will happen. The groom was forced to wear a long-sleeved polo shirt and slacks, attire he rarely puts on lately. The bride wore a sky blue skirt and white blouse, her typical ballroom dancing outfit.  It was a Friday afternoon, at 1 pm, in front of the same church, in front of the same altar, but in front of a younger priest.

What transpired was not just a blessing; it was a full-blown mass, a wedding, an intimate renewal of vows with only their children, grandchildren, a cousin, his wife, their neighbor and a driver as witnesses.  There were giggles as the ceremony was on-going, particularly in the exchange of vows.  Their grandchildren were excited, tickled pink when the “I-do’s” were exchanged.  The groom was nervous when he was asked to place the ring on the bride’s fingers.  He was unsure if it would still fit. The bride was flustered, laughing, and giddy when the priest finally said to the groom, “you may now kiss the bride”. The kiss, a smack on the lips, a gesture of their love to each other, finally sealed the deal. As the ceremony came to a close, the priest asked everyone present to join the couple in the altar and gave everyone a special blessing.  They were witnesses to a very rare and special occasion, an event only a few of us will be able to experience, more so be a part of.

We were truly blessed.