canmaker

STUNNED

2010-04-24T15:34:00.010+08:00

I've almost abandoned this blog. But as I've said over and over, I may have abandoned writing but I never miss blog hopping. I visit, read, enjoy, silently react, and even re-read the entries of my favorite bloggers, the list of which has been growing steadily since.

As we all know, some bloggers prefer to "come out" to their readers by revealing themselves, showing their pics, and make known personal details that would expose the real "them". Others, just like me, prefer to hide their true identity. So reading through entries of these anonymous bloggers, from the snippets of information they provide, and the silhouettes of pictures they expose, I/we sometimes can't help but create an image of how they would look like if you meet them in person.

Recently, the image I set for one of my favorite anonymous bloggers was shattered, when I finally met him in person......I was dazed, amazed, in awe, and priveledged to have know this "famous" blogger in person.......because only last night was it revealed that I have known this guy all along for more than 30 years.

I have been reading his entries way, way back, probably even when he was just starting, I was already there. In fact, I mentioned him in one of my earlier entries two years ago on what inspired me to start blogging. Needless to say, his writing style is great and entertaining. He was gutsy in exposing himself (Mr. Ripley episode), brave in revealing his fears, analytical in voicing out the conflicts in his personal and religious beliefs (regarding his views on casual sex), very detailed in sharing his sexcapades and sometimes giddy at his conquests (ang dami ha!). Rightfully so, he was proud of his personal and career achievements (new house, new car, new office, san ka pa?), unselfish and caring to his family, friends and to his "katiwalas" (including the Home of the Abandoned Elderly), radical in some of his ideas, and sometimes baduy in his choices (Carpenter's - I Need to be in Love?!?! Tama ba yun?!).

Those was some of the things I knew of him through his blog. So when it was revealed to me last night that person I've known personally for more than 30 years was the same blogger, I was totally, totally caught off-guard for a few seconds. I could not connect the person in front of me to the blogger I was reading. It just doesn't seem to fit. He is CC?!?!?! WTF?!?! It can't be?!?!

But after the initial shock, I was slowly brought back to the reality that there are always new things we find out from people we know all our lives. Of course our friendship way back when we were kids was totally different from what we have now, Also, it did not help that we just recently got together again, (thanks to our HS Homecoming reunion) after years of no communication, that's why we still had a lot of catching up to do. But thanks to this reveal, I was able to fill in the gaps of our lost years and also be able to connect the person I knew to the blogger I followed. He was the same good old reliable friend I knew from way back then.

Thanks friend for allowing me to enter your "closet"!

I AM BACK.......again?

2009-06-03T15:00:00.003+08:00

It's been quite awhile since I posted an entry....... and it's not because I've totally abandoned the blog world....in fact, I am still very much around, albeit a silent lurker.....blog hopping, keeping myself updated with what's going on with the my favorite and not so favorite bloggers., that sort of stuff. I just couldn't think of a "well worth it" entry for my comeback. Hahahaha.......

But I promise to write something soon...something insightful, something interesting, something worth reading......

Abangan...... :-)

IGOR

2009-03-21T14:52:00.005+08:00

I kept denying it at first....but I fell, really fell deeply in love. Meet the new love of my life....Igor.....

Out of Town

2008-12-16T16:26:00.004+08:00

I was recently out of town for a much needed break. Me, my lover, and another gay couple plus another friend who went solo went to Taipei, Taiwan just last week. This is the same bunch of guys I go out of town with because we really enjoy travelling together. Come to think of it, thanks to Cebu Pacific Promos, we have been out to most of its routine destinations from Shanghai to Siquijor, from Hong Kong to Bohol, Kuala Lumpur to Palawan to name a few. It's really a great experience, and of course lots of fun, to go out of town with a bunch of guys who really get along well in the first place. Aside from covering each other's backs, we all help out in making decision, its also a give and take when considering others preferred interest whether in shopping or nature tripping , an adventure or a cultural experience. Plus we all know when not to push ourselves of our limits, so we always end up having a good time.

I normally arrange for most of the details of the trip on line, from the date, to the hotel, even arranging airport transfers and usually booking a half day city tour just so we can get an immediate feel of the place. I know some experienced travelers hate to go on these arranged tours since part of the deal is ending up in some tourist traps, but for us, the standard city tour gives us a feel of the city and more importantly it gives us a bearing of the locations we would venture on in the next few days.

As soon as we fly in, exchange our money to the local currency, get picked up from the airport, dropped off at the doorstep of the hotel, and checked-in to our rooms, its just a few minutes of freshening up and off we go immediately outside. We are not big shopper, we are adventurous eaters so usually we zone into places where food is sold. Aside from the sights, the sounds, and the climate of the place, the part I personally enjoy most in exploring a new city, especially in a different country is the food.....especially the street food!

From each city we've discovered, new sights and sounds we've experienced, new food we've tasted, new photographs we've taken, new souvenirs we've brought home, I must say that an added bonus to all of these, is bonding the old friendship we guys have through the memories we keep on these travels we ventured.

Self-Censorship

2008-11-27T16:50:00.005+08:00

It's been almost a month now since my last blog entry and I still continue to wrack my brains on what to write. I've tried several times to come up with something that is worthy but I always end up editing myself. . . and I hate it! I ended up censoring my entries on the guise that I might "out" myself to people I know. You see, this is a secret blog that I have not revealed to anyone..... not to my lover, not even to my closest friends. No one knows that I have a blog except me......and the people who stumbled in my blog.....and that's you. In other words, I am afraid to reveal myself to you guys out there who read this....but WHY?!?!

I know, I know, this is stupid..... I promise I will stop censoring myself and just write what I feel like writing......soon! :-)

November 1

2008-10-30T17:33:00.006+08:00

For some Filipinos, this weekend will be about treats and parties, chocolates and costumes, being spooky and having fun. But for most Pinoys, like our family, it will be about candles and cemeteries, flowers and tents, reunions and prayers. Because this weekend, like what we have been doing for the past 10 years or so, my family will be at Loyola Memorial Park to visit the grave of my younger brother.

My brother was at the prime of his youth, about to graduate college, taking up Engineering in the only school he has ever attended all his life. He was nerdy, quiet, seemingly unassuming but had lots of friends and knew how to have fun with them. Being the third among four siblings, he was the power broker and arbiter between me and my elder sister’s constant fights. He knew whom to take sides and when to do it so harmony would settle between us. He was the one my Mom trusted the most and he gave the least headache to my parents while growing up. He was a good boy, a good friend, a good brother and a good son.

Everything went haywire during a routine medical examination when doctors found a grape size lump on his left wrists. After some test, the doctors knew they had to do a biopsy to confirm their suspicions. So they asked permission from my parents to do a biopsy but added that should they find it to be malignant, they would have cut off the left arm just below the elbow to stop the spread of the cancer cells.

I remember how anxious we all were on the day of the operation. When word got around that he was about to be wheeled out of the operating room, we all rushed in to see how he was. We knew that the one sure sign that everything went well was if his left arm was still intact. So there we were, waiting, hoping, praying…

We saw his frail body, in a hospital gown, a blanket draped over him, with dextrose tubes around, barely conscious because of the anesthesia. I remember how the attendees, nurse and orderlies were quietly rolling him in his room, transferring him to his bed, checking the tubes attached to him. The whole family too was silently waiting, afraid to ask, probe or question. But we tried to be brave for him, or so we thought... but as soon as my Mom had the courage to come near him, caress his hair then gently, slowly, remove the blanket, we all saw what we feared the most…. his left arm was cut off.

I remember my father, me, my sister and our youngest, immediately turn our backs at him and cried….and oh, how we cried. But with all the crying I did, the wailing of my sister and the tears of my father, my Mom just stood there facing my brother, with no tears, chin held high, putting up a brave front, caressing him, whispering, showing and reassuring not only my brother but everyone around, that everything will be alright. I was stunned and I realized how brave my Mom was. I was so proud of her.

My brother was discharged from the hospital after a few weeks, and jumped in immediately to the activities he left off as if nothing happened. He went back to school, and continued with his extra curricular activities there. He went swimming, became good at ping-pong and just became more physically active. He was not conscious of his disability, faced the difficulties of having one arm as a challenge and just took everything in stride. He was doing great, he was enjoying life…... but it only lasted for about a year and a half.

Things turned around slowly at first. We started noticing he was getting tired easily, had difficulty breathing and was losing his appetite. Eventually, he went in and out of the hospital again, had chemotherapy but was still deteriorating. The whole family was there rallying for him, supporting him, praying for him. His classmates were there for him too. During one of his long hospital stay, three busloads of his schoolmates came to visit him one time. The hospital authorities were shocked at such a large contingent visiting a patient and refused to let them all in. As a compromise, only 5 students at a time were allowed to visit him in his room, so you could just imagine how long that took. With over a hundred college kids visiting him, it was a rowdy, fun, and tiring day for him. But he loved it….and the whole family loved it.

Less than two years after he was diagnosed with cancer, my brother died at our home where he wanted to. His cancer cells spread on his lungs, his stomach, and just all over his body. He was suffering and was in pain, especially in the last few days of his life, but he was still always cheerful, brave and optimistic. On his funeral, all his friends, classmates, families and loved ones were there not only to grieve but more so to celebrate his life, the way he wanted to be remembered.

So on November 1, his family, some of his friends and former classmates, will troop again to the cemetery to pay their respect to a good boy, a good friend, a good brother and a good son.

I miss you bro…..

SMOKING

2008-10-13T10:38:00.006+08:00

I started smoking when I was 14. The first one was in front of a girl I was courting and trying to impress. I was a short and a lanky kid and I wanted to show her I wasn't a kid anymore by doing things only adults do....and what better way to show that than by smoking. We were standing around this dark corner with some other taller, older kids when I was offered a cigarette in front of her by one of the tougher guys. I blindly accepted, lit and inhaled deeply, only to cough it up immediately. I remember getting dizzy instantaneously and nauseous at the same time. Obviously, this brought laughter and lots of cajoling by the other kids, but I nonetheless still made an impression to the girl since she eventually became my first girlfriend....but that's another story. Anyway, I could never understand that time what drove people to smoke, how bad it really tasted, and what pleasure they actually derive from it. But even if my instincts tell me I was getting into something really stupid, from then on, I started smoking regularly.

I was smoking when I was with friends. I smoked while cramming for an exam. Of course I smoked when I was drinking. I smoked when I was in the bathroom. I smoked before I went to sleep. And the best of all times to smoke, after a heavy meal.....and boy, was it better than dessert! I think I may have reached a pack a day, but I guess this was mostly when I was out drinking with friends....and during my younger days, that happened a lot. So on the average, I was probably smoking a half a pack a day, and this was only because I made it a point not to smoke in the morning. So normally, my first puff occurred after my lunch meal only.

By the time I reached my thirty's, I realized I was already smoking half my life....and that really scared me! I knew I had to stop. So I gradually reduced smoking at first, then attempted to quit cold turkey.....but failed after about a year when I reached out for a cigarette during one of my drinking sprees. Tried again by reducing the number of sticks I smoked in a day to 5 sticks, then quit cold turkey.... again. Thankfully, it's been several years now and I haven't had a puff in years.

I know a lot of people would understand the "supposed" hell I went through when I quit.....and would be proud of me for staying smoke free all these years. I wish all those who are thinking of quitting to have the guts to finally push through with it. ....and I wish those who have failed to also have the guts to try again. I won't lecture you guys on the evils of tobacco.......because I am pretty sure you all know. I just pray you get to do it soon. And for those people who don't get it why people just can't quit smoking, I am happy you never got addicted to it and I just hope you understand, support, and help out the love ones you have who are smoking and wants to quit too.....

Blogging

2008-10-03T10:39:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I can't help but wonder, what do I get from blogging? What do I want to convey in my writing? In the first place, am I writing so that others may read my thoughts and feelings? Or am I just expressing my views in words through a medium that's new and high tech?

It's so hard to answer all of them, especially since I am just new at blogging. But before all that, how did I get into this world of blogging in the first place?

I believe the first blog I came across was that of Nelz. He was still with his Pinoy lover Ian who also had a blog then. I remember how intrigued I was on their daily lives, their quarrels and even their sex lives, which they did not hesitate the describe in detail. Since then I was hooked! It was like a soap opera in the net....but this time, they were real people and a gay couple at that! It was great reading!

From Nelz's blog, I ventured into Mcvie's "shows". Here he was talking about everything and anything under the sun. His style of writing was great, very entertaining plus, informative for me particularly about his gimmicks and sexcapades. Being a homebody, I was sort of living his life vicariously. So through his writings, I was able to imagine how it felt like going to Bed, and how to handle yourself in F........places I haven't been to.

Then I ended up at Pulsar's blog...an anonymous, faceless guy who also wrote about everyday stuff......from his relationships, to his job, to his workouts, gimmicks, and his friends. He wrote poems and essays. He wrote in cryptic style, and did free writing. He described conversations he had with the different personalities he's created of himself through the years. Great read from who looks like a great guy.....

From thereon, I bumped into several other blogs....from Gibbs to Mandaya, from Corporate Closet to the much missed Wanda Ilusyonada, from Aris to even Danton....different peronalities, different writing styles, different topics......all a great read!

So what got you started in blogging?

Dentist

2008-09-30T15:29:00.003+08:00

I was supposed to go to the dentist last week but I have been putting it off. Not because I am afraid of the procedure, in fact, there is just a small chip off my tooth that I wanted to be repaired because it has been scratching the back of my tongue when I talk or eat. Anyway this isn't really about my dental appointment or the dental procedure that needs to be done. This is about death. Yes death! You see, I just found out that my dentist for more than a decade now is dead. Yes dead! The cause of death, well he fell from the stairs of their home. Yes, he fell! He fell from the top rung of the stairs when it gave way because it was termite infested! Yes, termites! It's not really such a great way to die is it? But he's still dead. So, is it such a waste?.....

Well it got me thinking, life really is too short....... so, should I live it day by day like it was the last day of my life?......... I started imagining how life of the people around me would be like when I am gone.... but they would definitely move on!......so I should'nt really think of how they will be if I was a goner, I should be more concerned how they are feeling now that I am still around.......

I believe in my heart that people around me are happy that I am around..... you see, I really am a great guy!

food

2008-09-25T16:44:00.003+08:00

I've always had simple taste with food. Hindi ako mahilig sa mga kakiba at exotic na mga pagkain na galing sa ibang bansa.....pero pag nandiyan, di ako takot para tikman ito. Pero very pinoy ang aking taste buds. And I lean towards the saltier types of foods. So ang mga comfort foods ko ay binagoongan at dinuguan, which reminds me so much of home cooking. Yung mga pagkaing ma-gata gustong gusto ko din tulad ng bicol express at laing.

So why am I blogging abour food? Kasi nagugutom na ako! It's 4:30 pm a few hours before my usual dinnertime and I can't help but think about what my dinner would be. Haaaayyyyy....... kaya tumataba eh!

over the weekend....

2008-09-23T15:03:00.003+08:00

Over the weekend, we finally got Pumba back......and oh, was it a joy to see her again! She was so excited to see us and to be back to her territory that she kept running around and sniffing up all over the place again. She played around with her old teddy bear and of course played with us.

But the excitement lasted for about 20 minutes only! After she settled down, and after we settled down, she was back to her old ways of just lounging around, sleeping, not a care in the world. Of course, I kept bothering her and disturbing her sleep and wanting to play with her again but she just brushed me off, found a quiet corner and went back to sleep. Well, I shouldn't really complain because she is an old dog already, just like me.......so she needs her rest, and we've noticed that she does not get easily excited anymore. She's became a little jaded with us. Well, I guess, that's the typical menopausal stage of any old creature just like me.... hahahahahaha...........

We hosted a dinner too for a friend who actually invited himself over with two of his exes for dinner. It was a success as always......and fun at the same time. Food was great, presented with a little art, and conversation was great because our friend has always been very articulate and being an film director, knows how to tell stories with pizazz.......

Then we had a typical Sunday dinner with my closest group of friends. Again, food was sinfully excellent. There was kare-kare, then we had crispy ulo ng baboy (the group's favorite!) and pansit canton (another favorite). I brought a mango torte dessert which I purchased in Tiendesitas and was also very very good. Conversations was free flowing and we were talking about anything and everything....which was fun.

So that was the weekend for me........how was your weekend?

entertaining

2008-09-18T09:54:00.002+08:00

Eversince we moved into our condominium unit, one of the things I enjoy doing is hosting dinner for friends. I enjoy the idea of preparing the menu, buying the ingredients and the actual cooking. It's tiring, but you get a sense of satisfaction once you present the finished products to your friends and getting the praises you are expecting. Of course, proof of its success is if there are no leftovers after the meal. Mind you, I am not a great cook. I just started really cooking when we moved in, and that was purely by default because we learned that between me and my lover, I am the better cook.

So I've grilled, steamed, fried, chopped, cut, slow cooked and now even baked for friends with tremendous success. Of course there have been disasters, or at least minor mishaps......meaning the food may be too salty, or I've put too much spice on it, or I substituted an ingredient that did not suit well with the finished product. At least I learned from my mistakes and continue to learn and experiment.

Food is only a part of entertaining so I make it a point to spruce the place up the place, prepare the candles to create the perfect lighting mood. I also bring out the wine glasses, chill the wine, and prepare the appetizers. Music is set just right to add to the ambiance.

Of course the final touch would be great, free flowing conversation and laughter with very good friends.......

pumba....

2008-09-15T16:10:00.003+08:00

I have a dog.....yes, a real dog! Well technically it's not my dog but my lover's dog. He brought it over one day in our condo unit because it was supposedly sick and had to be taken cared of. At the start, I wasn't too keen on letting the dog stay....what, with all the hassle of cleaning up over its poop plus the smell it brings, added to the mess and the noise. But eventually Pumba (that's her name) won me over, as most dogs will eventually do to its hesitant masters. So now of the perks of going home to a nice condo unit is the cute and fuzzy shitszu dog that welcomes me everytime I open the door. First, she jumps up and down, then smells my pants and shoes. She then goes around in circle while leading me to her spot at the corner. She then gets her cute teddy bear toy, and runs straight to the side of our bed and expects me to put her up there so we could both play with her teddy bear......she biting it and me, taking it away from her. That's the routine. Aside from that, our bonding moment also occurs everytime I take her out to walk and poop outside the condo building.

Recently had an out of town trip to Bohol two weeks ago, so my lover had to bring Pumba to his parent house until we came back. But it's been two weeks now and we haven't had the time to pick her up back.....so I really miss her. I've put up her recent picture as my wallpaper so everytime I open the computer, I miss her more........

Haaaaaayyyyyyy.........

as promised...

2008-09-13T10:14:00.003+08:00

Yes, as promised, I will try to update my blog. So here I am in front of the computer typing these first few words, still with no idea on what to write about. I might be trying what they call "free writing" without really knowing what it is. Hehehe......

Anyway, I started going to the gym too, after a period of hiatus. Obviously, with me, the only reason I stopped was because I was lazy. But this week, I seem to have gained my momentum back because I've been to the gym last Tuesday and yesterday, already a big accomplishment for me! I tried doing my old routine but I haven't been lifting the heavy weights just yet. But still, the aches and pains hit me once I get home. Added to that, I tend to eat more during dinner just because I exercised. So I really just end up gaining back what I just lost in the gym a few hours ago. It's a cycle! At least I get to enjoy my dinner without feeling really guilty.

The end result......I am still at 185 lbs.....my weight for the last 5 years or so........and nothing has really changed.......

by the way, I am 5'11 so 185 lbs really isn't that bad......you think so?

eto na naman...

2008-09-11T11:05:00.002+08:00

It's been awhile (again?) since I last blogged......almost a year. I've been reading some of the regular blogs I've been following and it got me inspired (again?!) to write here. I know, I know, I should'n t be overwhelmed, feel insecure or indequate at the level of their writings because in the first place, this blog is first of all about me and only for me.....a place to express my thoughts and sentiments and to vent out my moods, joys and heartaches. Whether anybody reads it or not, it MUST NOT matter. So again, I resolve to write at line or two here just to get the ball rolling.......Good luck to me! and good luck to my blog!

BORED

2007-10-08T11:10:00.000+08:00

It's 78 days before Christmas and I am in a bored state right now. I eagerly anticipate the season to arrive soon just so I can get out of this melancholic state I am in right now. Of course, it's just probably the dramatic "angst" I want to project that's why I am making a big fuss out of this. Either way, I believe Christmas would cheer me up a little.

However, if I think about how expensive the season is going to be, I get depressed! Which is worse that just being bored or melancholic. Hahahaha! It's probably because I know I would not be as generous with my gifts because of the financial situation I am in. I am up to my neck with bills and loans to pay. But I am still upbeat. It's because I have always managed to get through this financial rut I am in every month, particularly whe all the utilities and bills arrive. Everything falls into place eventually and surprisingly, I manage to get by. But this does not mean I should just let it slide by...always. I have got to take control of the situation. And that would have to be on top of my New Year's Resolution for 2008.

We'll see.....But wait. No! My tag line has to be.........Just do it!

SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-09-27T11:22:00.000+08:00

Finally did it!!!! Hahahaha......I just had to check the terms of agreement!....hahahahaha

Anyway, here's the initial pictures I wanted the post:

WHY?!?!?

2007-09-27T09:34:00.000+08:00

Why can't I post my pictures?!?!?!.......hmmmmmmmm........

CAN ANYONE OUT THERE HELP ME?

let me give it another try....

here's another random picture I got...........

BLOGGING AGAIN?

2007-09-26T16:24:00.000+08:00

Well, for the nth time, here I am again attempting to blog. But this time, I will add start using pictures to spice it up since I just got a new digital camera!!! Yahoo!!! I got it from my recent trip to Hong Kong a week ago. It was an impulse buy, something I do not really need but have been wanting to have for the longest time. Now that I've got it, might as well put it into good use.......

hmmmmm....what pictures to post...............

as a start, here's the view from my condo unit:

Blogging

2007-07-20T10:18:00.000+08:00

I've been meaning to update my blog for the longest time but obviously I haven't been successfull lately. In fact, the last time I blogged here was five months ago. I really wanted to update, and eversince, to put me in the mood to write, I read up on other people's blog first. Of course, reading other people's witty, entertaining and great style in writing, I end up feeling insecure about my own style. But then I had an ephiphany........why should I think about what other people think? This is my blog and I can do and write whatever I like! I should shift my attitude and just focus on my writing and not on what other people think! That would make me start writing again.....I hope.......

Well, good luck to me...... :-)

Missing

2007-02-06T16:12:00.000+08:00

It's really been awhile since I last blogged. A lot of things have happened......a major one if fact but I just never had the drive to write it here. I've attempted to open this blog, especially after reading through the dozens of others I regularly read. But I never did.....until now.

So what really happened to me? Well, the Christmas season was a flurry of reunions, family gatherings, shopping and of course food! We had an aunt and a balikbayan cousin arriving from Germany and that ate up some of my time. Of course with a big family like my Mom's, gathering and reunions are really fun. I must say I did enjoy it even if I felt akward with my cousin at the start.

The January highlight really was the 25th grand reunion of my high school. It was a really fun and great event. I never even considered not attending it even if some of my closest classmates were not attending. I met up with some of my classmates I haven't seen in 25 years and it was really fun reminsicing about the good old days. It was also nice to know that I could hook up with them again since one group have been seeing each other regularly since after high school. I missed that....but I plan to catch up. My social life really needs a boost right now....not because I need to, but because life is too short and I need to enjoy while I am still able. First thing on the list is joining this Mountaineering group. I am hesitant to join but this has been one of my passions and I need to do it while I still can.

Well, the really major event that happened lately was my move from my parent's place to a condominium unit in Mandaluyong. It was a sort of joke with my friend, who owns the place which has not been occupied in 2 years, and me. I was sort of hinting to him that maybe we can rent it at drop dead prices and he agreed. It was sort of a whirlwind scenario after that, with the visit to the place, then buying the few furnitures need to spruce the place up, with buying paints and electrical stuff and cleaning implements and actually cleaning the rooms. Whew! It just dawned on me one day how lucky I was when I saw myself having coffee looking a a wonderful city view realizing I was finally living on my own.......after all these years! Finally! Well, I am not really alone of course. My lover actually moved in with me. This is a new phase in our relationship and I must admit it is turning out to be a great experience. It's only been a week really since we officially moved in and I must say it feels great to be in a beautiful and modern space with a fantastic view a with all the modern amenities within your reach. We really feel blessed.

Whew! so many things to say in one entry. I think I need to cut it short now and just tell more of it in the next entries. At least I am starting to blog again.

And I must admit, I was actually missing it........

Vernacular

2006-12-02T09:21:00.000+08:00

Here I go again......after reading several of my regular blogs, I ended up comparing the witty, entertaining, thought provoking and silly styles that they have, from my own boring style. It got me thinking, should I start writing in my own vernacular instead? Dapat na ba ako mag-tagalog? When I thought of starting this blog, it just followed that I use English as my medium. Not because I was THAT comfortable with the language, but I just did. Now, I feel like I should start wrting in tagalalog to add wit and humor to my writing. Can anyone help me out there? Does anyone have an opinion on this?

God!......if ever anyone answers, I am sure I am going to have a heart attack....... hahahaha!

Limbo

2006-11-30T10:37:00.000+08:00

I am back at the office doing my regular work. I was pretty busy since I arrived from my Laguna adventure, but I am in a lull now. I knew I had a lot of things to do but I decided to stop everything and just blog. I was browsing earlier just reading other people's blog so I might as well update my own. But again, what do I write about?

Well one thing is for sure......I am BORED!

Hooky

2006-11-29T18:30:00.000+08:00

I went into an adventure last weekend when I was in Laguna due to work. As I mentioned in my previous blogs, circumstances forced me to report in Laguna in order to do some damage control. So off to Laguna I did..... with my lover. After spending Sunday night together, we left early Monday morning for Laguna. We had a nice breakfast, then I dropped him off in town so I can do what I had to do in the plant. At around 2 pm, I decided to leave the plant and meet up with him. We had a late lunch then proceeded to one of the resorts in Pansol. We went swimming and we had a massage to remove the stress from work. We decided not to go back to Manila and just looked for a hotel where we can stay.

It was nice to spend the weekend with him again although I was not really able to enjoy it totally because of the stress of work I had to face earlier. But he helped a lot in making me forget work and think of it as a vacation. He really takes care of me and I truly love him for that.

Just around the Corner

2006-11-26T13:21:00.000+08:00

Christmas is just around the corner. So in about 4 days time, we hit the month of december, and the days will pass by in a flash for most of us. Things will be hectic, but hopefully jolly. There will be shopping, gif giving, parties and get-togethers. I have always loved christmas and I am looking forward to another great one this year. It's really just a matter of attitiude on how to deal with the season. Spending it with kids and experiencing their joy vicariusly helps. Through the years, I make it a point to experience christmas through the eyes of my nephews and nieces. I see in their eyes the anticipation of the season and I feel their joy and anxiousness too....and it really feels good.

For two consecutive nights, I brought them shopping in Marikina River Banks and Sta Lucia. Well, not really shopping but we went around and looked for stuff they want so I would know what to buy for them. This year, I have to be practical, so I am buying the kids things they really need like shoes and clothes rather than toys and knick-knacks I give in previous Christmases. It gets really funny how they deal with so many choices....... just like me, given to many options , I paralyze with my decision. The kids really had a hard time deciding what they want! Hahahah.....it's so like their Uncle.....

Half Full

2006-11-25T17:30:00.000+08:00

It was one hell of a work week for me this week! As mentioned in my previous post, I experienced a lot of anxiety these past few days because of work. Well, since my last post, it actually turned a lot worse. Work was hell, to the point that I was already saying to myself, this is not worth the salary I am paid for! I need more for all these bull I am getting. It was that bad!

But through it all, there was a point wherein I reached a threshold and said to myself, I can either wallow in the negativity of the situation......or be above it and just stay cool. Because in hindsight, will all of this matter 5 years from now? Heck, I don't think this will even have a significant memory in me by next year. After that ephiphany, the transition from being half empty to half full happened! And I started to have fun and excitement, just going through the motion of what needs to be done, no matter how stressfull it really was. In other words, at some point, i started to have fun! Cool............

Anxiety

2006-11-23T16:33:00.000+08:00

I was in a lot of anxiety today. It's only 4 in the afternoon and I am already so tired and stressed out. I feel like a candle on it's last few flickers. Having only a few hours of sleep has been a major contibutor to my anxiety attacks today. Basically, it's really work that has drained me up. Had to confront a big quality issue that cropped up with our customer who is bent on charging us 3 million worth of damages. Only because of a stupid oversight, that could have been averted if common sense was put into play. As expected, they made a big deal out of it and compounded the issue to make it significant. However, the bottomline is, it was our product, we produced it, so we have to take responsibility for its integrity. So personally, that's where the anxiety comes in for me. Because of these events, I would have to report to Laguna for the rest of the week until things have settled down. That means I have to travel back and forth and that will take a toll in both myself and my car. It's a good thing Laguna is just a few hundred kilometers away from the plant.

I'm trying to look at it now in a different light. Look at the glass half full instead of half empty. I'll try to make it into an adventure just so I can ease out the anxiety even for just a bit. Then, who knows, I just might get that hang of it and even look forward to my travels to Laguna. Hope this turns out to be the adventure I am imagining it to be.

Wait a minute! Does "adventure" have to include sexual excapades? Hmmmmmm........... I think I'm going to enjoy this. Yahoo!

GROWING OLD

2006-11-20T17:22:00.000+08:00

Lately, I've had this intense fear of growing old. I guess this is normal for some people, especially for people who are my age (guess how old?....I would never reveal my true age...hahahaha). It's not really about dying that I am worried about. It's more on what would happen to me when I am too old to work and earn. I know, I know, the only way to get out of this mess is to prepare for my retirement this early! I'm slowly doing that, much too slow for my own good but at least I'm starting somewhere. I've invested some of my savings to several insurance plans. What I need to do next is to start building up on my savings to make me liquid and to have something to fall back on in case of emergencies. That part I still have to work on since it's easier to spend than to save nowadays. Bottomline is, I really have to be concious that I should not spend more than what I earn. That takes a lot of discipline to make it happen........

FIGHT

2006-11-20T13:56:00.000+08:00

My lover and I had a fight. Yes, you read it right...."my lover". I am a gay guy! But this is not the purpose of this blog. More on that in future episodes. Anyway, it wasn't really a major fight....it was not even technically a fight because we just sat in the car not saying anything except oneliners meant to hurt the other. In fairness to him, he was not really saying anything. I was the one rattling out venemous one liners. It was the mean streak in me that came into the picture. Anyway, I feel bad for him because I really ws the one who was selfish. I was thinking only of myself. What ticked me off really was his presumption that I would do things I "usually" do. I felt pissed off because he already assumed it without us talking about it. I guess I was just tired really. Anyway, the weekend ended like that.......Oh well........

NEW COMPUTER

2006-11-18T14:49:00.000+08:00

I have a new computer!!! Yahoo!!! Don't ask me about specifications because I don't know what they are. Just as long as it is working and that's about it. That's the only thing that is important. I immediately logged on and tried to blog because I wanted to check the new keyboards I have. It is pretty much standard except the keys are slightly curved and diagonally shaped, to make it ergonomically correct? Is it working for me? Well, I already made a lot of errors typing this short entry. I even had to edit it after I posted it already. But it's not really that bad. Again, I just have to get used to it.

So after the keyboards, what do I check next? ................. This is going to be a long and busy weekend. But it's going to be fun!

Blogging

2006-11-17T11:20:00.000+08:00

I'm starting to realize how difficult and tedious it is to blog. When I started reading other people's blogs, I told myself I can do this. I have always wanted to write and I knew my English isn't that bad....but thinking of what to write about is taking me forever, more so putting it into words and blogging it here. I've had three previous entries and nothing substantial is in it. So is it worth it? I guess I just have to get used to it....... Haaaayyyyyy

Divisoria

2006-11-11T17:05:00.000+08:00

A couple of my friends and I will be going to Divisoria tomorrow. It's a sure sign that Christmas is just around the corner that's why we all have to start shopping. I'm just going to buy some knick knacks for my nephews and nieces....small stuff so I know I'm not really going to spend that much....well hopefully. Divisoria at Christmas time is really a nice place to go to to. The sight, the sound, the mad rush, the smoke, the food stalls, the assorted fruits, the tight alleyways, the cheap stuff...all these contribute to Divisorias charm. I never really end up buying a lot of stuff, but I get to see what's new and what's cheap so I can more or less gauge what other items are worth buying in the malls if I ran out of time shopping for Christmas presents.

I hope lunch will be great....... Hmmmmmm......

Profile

2006-11-10T16:26:00.000+08:00

Been checking out how to edit my profile in blogger but ended up revealing nothing. I don't know if I need to reveal myself out there..... probably not. In the first place, will anyone be reading this?....... Oh well.......

canmakers

2006-11-10T16:18:00.000+08:00

I am still having trouble navigating through blogger. But I am excited with the idea of blogging. It feels like when I was younger and I use to keep a diary, mostly to record what I did that day, not too much on what I was thinking or generally feeling. So my entries were usually "I ate at..." or " I went out with..." or " I played ..." those trivial stuff. So this is something relatively new to me.......I mean writing about my thoughts, my feeling...... So it's kinda exciting.....and scary too 'cause I don't know how to go about it....I guess I will just wing it and see how it goes........

First Time

2006-11-10T11:11:00.000+08:00

Finally, after reading blogs of others (and thoroughly enjoying them), I managed to create and start my own blog. Now what do I talk about? Hmmmmm....... Let's see......